unspoken words .....

i am at my early thirties and yet untill now i dont have that someone whom i can call my own ... my better half indeed ...

looking back ... i been in love .... the feeling of how love can be intense , wild , intimate , a love with compassion and admiration .... but the thing is i only felt this kind of love ... alone.

no commitment involved .... i have mastered it .... i am uncertain in this kind of role ... i can't expect him to be always there for me .... perhaps i can't be jealous ...

there is no "us " only me and him ... i can't be sure of his feelings ... and makes me wonder where i am in this kind of relationship or is there any relationship at all ????

a lot of times i do asked my self ... why do i agreed or settled for this kind of commitment ? is it for companionship ? for having someone to call your own ? for fun ? or maybe a somebody while waiting for that mr.right ......

there is no assurance ... no security ... nothing to hold on because the fact remain .... hindi naman tayo ... at hindi magiging tayo .... friend mo lang ako di ba ??????

because the truth is ... its so rare to find someone who can can understand without words , who can feel without touching and who can make you happy without doing anything ...