what is a friend .....

friendship isn't always easily described. Instead of different words, however, we're stuck with simple adjectives. Close friend. Best friend. Childhood friend. Intimate friend. Trusted friend. Beloved friend. But whether you use adjectives or different words, few could deny the nearly infinite meaning in such a simple word.friends are special people... in a very real sense, friends reflect the choices we make in life. ....

here's my description about friends .....

1. friend is ATE SALVE : she's my real best friend .... no doubt about it through the saddest times of my life .... a friend who taught me how to become strong and fight for what i believe in ... through the saddest and rough times of my life she stayed .. lend a helping hand indeed act as a real ate ..... my wings beneath my wing .

2. friend is KEN-KEN : we're like batman and robin .... she's my better half ...we're like cats and dogs when we fight .... but definitely one true friend .... a one to be trully cherish ...a friend for keeps .... she's like a song that tells :that kind of friend you know , would stay with you through all the pain ,never to leave you in the rain ,ready to listen to what you've been through , your woes and blues and share each other's... points of view ....

3. friend is ELENA : whooooh my friend for 17 years ..... my drinking buddy , my protector , my shield in times of troubles that's ellen ... and i love her dearly .... she's like a song that tells : Lay my life on the line, for you I will fight, for you I will die, with every breath, with all my soul , i'll give my word, I'll give it all put your faith in me, put your faith in me ,and I'll do anything... for you i will ....


4. friend is ROWENA MAY : the most kind among the astig gang ... so pasensyosa ... even if she's mad ... she will not make you feel that you're bad she's just say "hay naku kung di lang kita kaibigan" .... being with may is a blessing ... she listens and understand ... my phonebuddy when things aren't that good .... she's like a song that tells : When youre down and troubled , and you need a helping hand , and nothing is going right, close your eyes and think of me , and soon I will be there ,to brighten up even your darkest nights ... you got a friend .....

5. friend is LOLITA:the most outspoken in the group .... when she speaks , she mean it well she's the one i always listen to ... she'll not condemn nor judge but she'll says that you're wrong in the nicest ways she can speak to . ... a friend that accept me just the way i am though i am not so nice .... she's like a song that tells :In good times and bad times , I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for ...


6.friend is MILA : when i think of mila ...i think of beautiful phrases ... beutiful lines ... words to ponder .... that's her ... the beauty of friendship that mila gave me ... she's a friend so dear that i will surely cherish and keep. she's like a song that tells : so we're okay , were fine , baby im here to stop your crying ,chase all the ghosts from your head , im stronger than the monster beneath your bed ,smarter than the tricks played on your heart ,well look at them together then well take them apart,adding up the total of a love thats true ,multiply life by the power of two .......


7.friend is SANTIE MARIE , ANALYN , ESMERALDA : these are the people whom i dont talk and see that much .... but definitely a friends to keep .... though we're apart and have no time to be together , these people never leave ... infact they stayed and continue to be my friends .... they are like a song that tells : But of all these friends and lovers ,there is no one compares with you ,and these memories lose their meaning ,when i think of love as something new
though i know i'll never lose affection ,for people and things that went before
I know i'll often stop and think about them , In my life i love you more ....


8. friend is ATEPEACHY : a true friend will keep one's friend secret and that's atepeachy ... with her i found a friend .... an adviser .... a confidante all packed in one . she's like a song that tells : Count on me through think and thin ,a friendship I will never end when you are weak, I will be strong ,helping you to carry on , call on me, I will be there , don't be afraid ,please believe me when I say count on...


and to those people who have touched my life and share a journey with me i thanked you ... words are not enough how thankful i am because i have you all in my life .... to those who stays and never leave i love you all so dearly ....

hard headed me ....

why is it hard to let go ????
why is it hard to forget ????
sometimes the thing that matters to me is my heart
and most of the time i always got hurt
i always forget the rules and follow my heart .
do i deserve to be like this ???
alone ??????
maybe the answer still hangs in my head ....

foolish ....

i made a fool out of my self ...
i fooled my friend ... indeed i fooled you .
why is it hard to comeback when you know its the best thing to do ?


foolish heart ... foolish mind
foolish ... oh so foolish of me.
wish my thoughts are here again ...
i lose my track and still am losing my insanity .

a trip to lobo, batangas

last weekend i got the change to see lobo , batangas , i never thought that aside from remote areas like benguet or batanes there's a beautiful place like lobo ... i wonder why i am so amaze of the place .... the trip was so fun ... infact i enjoyed it though a bit tiring ....

sa totoo lang hindi ko akalain na uso pa din pala sa batangas ang ganung klaseng pagsakay sa isang sasakyan , siksikan sa isang jeep na ang pangsampuan lang na upuan ... nagiging labing isa o labingdalawa at hindi lang yan sa gitna ng jeepney ay nakabalandra ang mga ibat-ibang klase ng kalakal na ibebenta nila may sinturis na ngayon ko lang nadinig na sa tamang pangalan nya sa tagalog ay dalandan , may pinipig , bigas , lansones , saging at kung anu-ano pa actually para kaming tinapa ... o sige na nga para kaming sardinas na habang bumabaybay kayo sa inyong patutunguan eh may mga tao duon na bumibili at nag bebenta ng kanilang mga kalakal ... mga ordinaryong tao na ibat-iba ang mga katangian .... mga ordinaryong tao na mababakas ang kasimplehan ng kanilang pamumuhay .

mahigit isang oras ang babaybayin mo kung gusto mong makapunta ng lobo , sa isang oras na yun na puro mga puno , bangin , zigzag na daan , amoy ng tae ng kalabaw at ang mga baku-bakung daan , masasabi ko na naman na sulit ang pag punta ko sa lobo .

bakit nga ba ako nakarating sa lobo ? kasi ba naman etong si jopotskie kinaray-karay ako duon .... biro mo alas kwatro ng umaga gising na ako .... nag hahanda na para lang makarating sa lobo . classic di ba ? para naman ang layo ng lugar ... pero promise malayo nga sya kung tutuusin .... duon kasi dinedevote ni jopotskie ang araw ng linggo sa lobo , andun kasi ang mga tao na nakasama nya ng matagal , mga tao na simple lang ang hangad sa buhay, walang halong kaplastikan , mga tao na ang nais lamang ay magbigay ng parangal at pag papahalaga sa amang nagpahiram ng ating buhay ...

akala ko noong una hindi ako mag eenjoy kasi ba naman antok na antok pa ako kulang na kulang ako sa tulog ... tapos ang maririnig ko mga kanta at panalangin na nagbibigay papuri sa diyos .... sabagay sa totoo lang ulit di naman ako debotong nilalang hindi nga ako nag sisimba eh . madalas nagagawi lang ako sa simbahan pag birthday ko , minsan nga hindi pa o kaya naman pag may matindi akong problema na hindi ko na kayang dalhin ....

pero si jopotskie grabe karir sa kanya ang pagpunta ng lobo ... doon binibigay nya ang sarili nya sa mga tao na kanyang nakakasalamuha ...
sa loob ng dalawang oras na pag woworship nila isang nilalang ang nakapukaw ng aking atensyon .... si tatay hindi ko kasi natandaan ang kanyang pangalan kaya tatawagin ko na lang sya ng tatay ....

isang matandang lalaki na puno ng katiwasayan sa buhay .... kuntento kung anuman ang meron sya . sa unang kita ko pa lang sa kanya mababakas na sa kanyang mukha na masaya sya sa kanyang buhay , maaliwalas ang kanyang mukha .... may kirot akong nadama sa aking puso ... biro mo buti pa ang mama na ito kontento na kung ano ang meron siya samantalang ako i always asked for more or indeed i dont value what i have .... ( sigh )

sa kanyang pag sasalita naibahagi nya ang kanyang buhay na dinaanan kung paano mabuhay sa maliit lang na salapi . biro mo ang two hundred pesos malaking bagay na sa kanila samantalang ako , yun 200pesos pambili lang ng magazine o kung ano man na pang kikay ko .... sa kanila ang perang yun pangkain na nila ng kaniyang pamilya .... he made me realized how lucky i am ... sa kanyang testimonial sabi nya minsan daw dapat itest natin si god kasi si god kahit na anuman ang mangyari di nya tayo pinapabayaan ... pag nagbigay ka ng sapat mas malaki ang kapalit noon di man pera pero sa ibat-ibang bagay bumabawi si god ...

sa totoo lang ulit lahat naman ng sinabi ni tatay may tama .... may dating kumbaga ... halimbawa na ako .... sa totoo lang ang swerte - swerte ko biro mo may trabaho ako , kumikita ng maayos , nabibili ko kung ano man ang aking naisin , nakakapunta sa mga magagandang lugar , nakakain ng masarap sa tamang oras , lahat ano pa ba ang dapat kung hilingin .... dapat doon pa lang makuntento na ako .... pero hindi malungkot pa din ako bakit kasi may isa bagay pa na hindi pa binibigay saken ang diyos ....

kasalanan ko din naman kasi hindi kasi ako nag titino ... hindi natutoto masyado kasi akong mapusok.... hige lang ng hige ... kaya siguro hindi pa sya dumarating kasi masyado akong pasaway .... hehehehehehe and really i don't value what i have , i keep asking for more na feeling ko ang lungkot ng buhay ko na malaking kawalan sken kung wala ang isang bagay na yun na totoong magpapaligaya sken .... hindi ba ako ang unfair ? sa totoo lang ulit i am so lucky kasi in all of my trials and difficulties lagi syang nandyan ako lang ang hindi marunong mag give thanks well i do appreciate it pero i am looking for what i dont really have . dapat ngayon matuto na ako kasi di na naman ako bumabata infact i should learn to value everything .... a trip to lobo was indeed educating .... infact i learned to value myself more and realized that god is too good to me because no matter how bad and mean i can be he still continue to shower me with lots of blessing .... he never give up on me so why should i question him about that someone .... well infact i know that someday god will bring me to that right someone ....

tragedy...glorietta bombing

october 19,2007

bilang isang empleyado sa media .... ang nais namin ay makapaghatid ng balita ... ng maganda at makabuluhang storya ...

october 19, 2007 .... isang malakas na pagsabog sa glorietta 2 sa makati ang naganap . isang trahedya na ikinamatay ng walong katao at mahigit sa pitongpung katao ang nasugatan ... at dumarami pa ....

kanina lahat ng tao sa newsroom ay abalang-abala sa pag hahanap ng impormasyon para makakuha ng mga latest na video na maari namin na maipakita sa taong bayan ...
lahat ay abala-abalang , walang nakakaramdam ng pagod , lahat ay kumikilos para lamang maihatid sa taong bayan ang mga pangyayari na dinulot ng trahedyang ito ...
at isa na ako sa mga tao na yun ....
kanina ang akala ko okey na yun mauna kami sa gma 7 na makapagbreakinng news ... aba malaking kagalakan ata yun nauna kami, naungusan namin sila sa magagandang video ... biro mo may chopper shot pa kami ayos ...
na ang lahat ng ito ay kompetisyon ... pagandahan at malaliman ng storya na makukuha ...
eh di ba masarap yata yun feeling na ikaw ang exclusive .... may magandang coverage na maipapakita sa tao ....

kanina din habang nag nenews central ako .... habang unti -unti ng pumapasok sa utak ko ang pangyayaring naidulot ng trahedyang ito ... ngayon ko lang naramdaman ang awa sa puso ko sa mga tao na nasugatan , sa mga tao na namatayan , sa mga tao na naiwanan ng kanilang mga mahal sa buhay ....

ang pait na idinulot ng trahedyang ito ... ang mga bakas ng pagsabog sa glorietta na nagdulot ng maraming abala sa mga tao na nais lamang na maglibang o kaya'y maghanap ng pagkakakitaan sa buhay ...
sa mga tao na hindi na mararamdaman pa ang magmahal ...
sa mga tao na naghahangad ng panibagong buhay
sa mga tao na nawalan ng pamilya at mahal sa buhay

bakit ba may mga tao na ang nais lamang ay makasakit ng kapwa ? bakit may mga tao na walang awa na kumikitil ng buhay ng mga inosenteng nilalang ? sana lang nakakatulog pa kayo sa gabi ...
sana may nararamdaman pa kayo na konting pagmamahal sa inyong mga puso ...
sana habang pinanonood nyo sa tv ang ang kaharasan na idinulot nyo ay magawa nyo pa at maramdaman kayo ng kahit na konting konsensya ...
sa totoo lang .... walang ginawang kasalanan ang mga tao na nasa glorietta kanina ...
dahil ba ang gusto nyo lamang na makapanakot ?
maghasik ng lagim ?
sabihing mahina ang ating pamahalaan at walang tibay na maaasahan ... ?
ang alam ko bawat nilalang ay may puso , bawat isa sa ating mag bait na itinatago ..
pero hindi ko din alam ang kasagutan ...
ang alam ko sa ngayon madaming tao ang nakakaramdam ng sakit na idinulot ng trahedyang ito , marami ang nawalan ng mahal sa buhay na dulot ng mga taong hangad ay makapanakit ng kapwa .... sana lang may pagmamahal pa kayong natitira sa puso nyo ..
at sana hindi nyo maramdaman ang sakit na iniwan nyo sa mga tao na nagdurusa ngayon.

october 14...a time to mourn

it was a fine day then when ellen texted me something , she told me that jessica's mom passed away . i was in shocked ... i didn't expect it was too soon .... my tears suddenly fell as if i was the one who lose her ....

last august , nanay discovered that she has a liver cancer , at first we thougth the pain she was having was brought about by her heart complication , that time nanay was so strong ...
she was hospitalized for a week ... we even visited her at the hospital .... she even laughed , tells story to us , she even said she wanted to go home ...
i don't see anything ... i dont see any sign that she will be gone soon ....
the big c got her .... it was a big lost but then again nanay will not suffer more...
today ... nanay linda passed away and i am so sad of losing her .
i was in shocked and in pain ..... i cried ... i really cried of losing her ....

i will surely misses nanay erlinda ... a kindhearted mom who sacrifice eveything for her five children .... her husband died when jessica's still five then ...
how can i forget a person who's so thoughtful in so many ways ...
a great cook ... a caring and loving grandmother to migs .... a happy person ,. she's so easy to be with ... i will surely misses the food she always cooked for us ... everything about her will surely misses .

today i'll bid goodbye to nanay ... i dont know how long will it take to stop me from crying everytime i remember her ... but one thing is for sure i've known a great woman , a mom that will do everything and will sacrifice everything for her children ... a time for me to mourn and a time for me to say goodbye ... thanks nanay i will remember you always ....

sometimes you have to really let go...

when i think about the time ... do i really have some regrets ? of knowing and giving some or rather most of my attention to someone who really breaks my heart ? oh well .... the answer is no . :) why ? because i must admit that during those times , that someone really put some spark and magic to my life ... they really makes me happy ... in a way that i want it ... ( yes ofcourse i maybe blind and maybe am the only one who feels that . )

sometimes we keep on questioning ourselves and even god why these things happens ? why do we need to feel the pain and make our life so miserable .... we always asked god why ? but the things is do we really asked our selves first ?

i been through a lot of good and bad relationship ... i never won ... i always failed ... i always cried in vain of losing them ... it killed and tore me apart ... maybe because i dont really did my best in loving them , or maybe because its better not to be with them anymore...
i am not afraid to love ... infact i continue loving them , god gave me a big heart and i must admit that i will never be afraid to love as long as i' ve got heart . i never have any regrets but sometimes its better to let them go .... because letting go means that i love them more ...

as i see my self now i am alone again .... i maybe sad today but hey i am not empty ...because i do believe in that time ....the right someone will come along and maybe i will do it right .... so why should i be lonely ? i have lots of good friends who really stay beside me when things go wrong ... i still have myself .... my family .... my friends and god .

sometimes we never really lost that someone .... they just been returned to where they came from ... atleast i had my time and chance of loving them .......